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考官范文:4个角度带你分析雅思满分作文

2017-11-09 留学监理网

2017年11月11日的雅思考试即将来临,考鸭们对于雅思写作是否已经成竹在胸了呢?雅思写作考察考生的词汇丰富程度、文章连贯性、语法多样性等,但前提是你拿到题目之后能够文思泉涌,顺利的完成整篇写作,如果你经常看到题目之后有种无从下手的感觉,那你的雅思写作就完全没戏了吗?NO!看了本篇的考官范文分析,即使你是写作困难型选手也会有所启发的!

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今天,留学监理网的小编给大家整理的雅思考官范文如下,希望考鸭们一定要认真看,尤其是雅思作文不太好的考鸭哦!


作文题目: 

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.What factors contribute to job satisfaction?How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?


考官范文:

Nowadays many adults have full-time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent doing such jobs is very high. So feelings about one’s job must reflect how an individual feels about his or her life as a whole, and because of this, job satisfaction is indeed very important for the wellbeing of that person.


Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways. Firstly, a person needs to feel that they are doing valued and valuable work, so positive feedback from superiors is very important in this respect. A sense of fulfillment is also encouraged if a worker feels the job is worth doing because it contributes to the society or the economy as a whole. Secondly, when someone feels they are improving or developing their skills through training opportunities, for example, then there is a sense of progression and purpose that rewards a worker. The sense of belonging to a team or a working community also contributes to job satisfaction because colleagues help each other to enjoy their working lives. Satisfaction is also increased by a sense of responsibility for and loyalty to a team.


Of course not everyone enjoys their work. Hard economic realities mean that many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get. In some cases an employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their personality. Some jobs are repetitive and boring, and labour relations may be poor and lead to resentment and insecurity rather than to job satisfaction.


However, even though it is unlikely that all workers do feel happy in their work, I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job. If the factors identified above are implemented, then any job can be improved and more workers can feel greater degrees of job satisfaction.


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范文解析:

角度一:各个段落作用分析

第一段复述了文章的主题job satisfaction。  

第二段回答了第一个问题(What factors contribute to job satisfaction?)

第三段回答了第二个问题(How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?)

第四段是第3rd段的补充


作文中的每个段落都是有各自的分工的,各个段落都要围绕文章要表达的主旨(也就是题目中问题所述的内容)来叙述自己的观点。当然,在叙述的时候要注意内容的逻辑关系,每段都在阐述不同的主要内容,但是又要有所关联,这样整篇文章才能看起来连贯,有条理性。


正如本篇范文中,每段的分工是按照题目中涉及的关键词以及问题来阐述的,一般都是按照这样的顺序来写。因为题目中的叙述顺序往往是由浅入深的,所以我们在作文中阐述自己的观点时也应该是由浅入深的解释。这样也便于考官评判作文时能够快速的了解考生作文的大意。所以条理清晰,顺序是关键所在。


角度二:每段主题句分析

第一段主题句So feelings about one’s job must reflect how an individual feels about his or her life as a whole, and because of this, job satisfaction is indeed very important for the wellbeing of that person.

第二段主题句Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways.

第三段主题句Of course not everyone enjoys their work.

第四段主题句However, even though it is unlikely that all workers do feel happy in their work, I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job.

结构一般说来,在段落之间,没有特别的连接词,暗指后面一段在支持前面一段的主题句。


在考生构思作文的时候,首先在脑海中要形成一个思路,思路是整篇文章浓缩的精华,思路包括文章要写几个段落,每个段落要写什么内容等。在构思每个段落时,可以想出一句或者两句总结性的话,放在段首或者段尾,也就是本段的主题句。有的主题句之后,该段的叙述就围绕那个主题句展开就可以了,最后,一篇文章就可以顺利完成了。


角度三:段落内关联词

在3rd的段首,考官使用Of course, 表示切换话题。这个词可以理解为“然而”。

在4th 段首,考官使用了However, 展示本段是上一段的转折,即论证的补充。这个词组可以理解为“尽管如此”。

一般说来,在一个段落内的句子之间,没有特别的连接词,暗指后面一句在支持主题句。

段落中的路标词:在1st 段中,考官使用了So来突出主题句。这个词可以理解为“总之”。

语法这篇考官范文在句式上最经典之处就是充分利用了英文的“状语从句”,几乎所有的状语从句在这篇文章中都很好地体现出来了。


关联词在雅思写作或者其他写作中都起到非常重要的作用。它可以为你的作文增光添彩,吸引考官的眼球,让你的作文逻辑更加清晰等,作用非常多。所以考生在备考时,一定要准备充分的关联词以备在写作中不会提笔忘词。当然,合理的使用关键词才能发挥出它的作用,正如本文中使用的of course,however等就是非常的例子,大家一定要多多借鉴。


角度四:全文长难句分析

If…, then…(条件状语)

because(原因状语)

… if … because ….(条件状语+ 原因状语)

When…,then…(时间状语)

…, so… (结果状语)

Even though…, …(让步状语)

I think it is not unrealistic to…(我觉得这件事并非不真实……双重否定表示肯定)

…, and… (并列句)

neither…nor… (否定并列句)


说完关联词,在作文中另一个不可缺少的加分项就是长难句了,句子的复杂程度也是考官评定作文分数的一个标准。一篇文章中,逻辑再清晰,用词再美妙,但是如果句子都是短小精炼,一样觉得太过通俗,略显空洞。而长难句的使用能给人带来文章的高深莫测的感觉,能够让人读起来意味深长,显得文章饱满有力,耐人寻味。因此,大家一定要联系长难句的使用,写长难句时要注意语法的准确使用,句子精美的前提是准确无误。


如果你在写作中总是没有头绪或者总是有种无从下手的感觉,不妨从本文的写作思路着手,段落分工和主题句帮助大家理清思路,关联词和长难句帮助大家为作文加分添彩。


雅思考试最新动态及干货分享,欢迎关注微信公众号:考鸭资料库(yasicenter)


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